Tomorrow's Not Yesterday
by Ms.Redrum
Summary: "I keep seeing your memories when I sleep." Hermann admits and feels Newt tense against him and knows he's going into touchy territory.


_Screaming so much screaming, why won't it stop?_

_He wakes up lying on the floor of a destroyed building._

_Confused and vision hazy; his head hurts and he doesn't understand what the hell is going on. He stumbles to his feet (wonders why there isn't any pain in his leg) and looks around the shattered crumbling remains of what once had been a school, his school, the one he taught at (though he's never taught here before, the memory is wrong, doesn't quite fit right).The last thing he remembers is having a small get together with a few of his friends to celebrate a successful experiment with sound waves._

_Then nothing, just darkness, before pain and gray scales-_

_Another man (tall, spiked green hair , brown eyed, familiar and warm to him but at the same time not, not his memory) grabs him by the arm and starts to drag him away from the wreckage snapping him out of whatever memory he had been about to see._

_"No wait, stop, the others-" He hears himself say (but it's not him, its Newton's frantic voice that he's speaking with)._

_"Are dead!" The man snaps, not unkindly; but frustrated and scared (and he knows that is a bad sign, but he doesn't know how he knows). And he stumbles for a moment; something cold and painful grips his heart, but the man isn't letting him go anytime soon as he drags him through the ruble._

_He can feel something beginning to drip down the side of his head. Before he has a chance to check it the man (whose name he/Newt can't seem to remember) is cursing and pushing him down against a chunk of wall._

_"Fuck man, your bleeding everywhere!" The man says tearing his shirt off and pressing it to his head._

_"Where is everyone?" He asks with a shaky voice. The man looks at him and sighs._

_"Do you really not remember?" the man asks again, this time grabbing his face and checking his eyes. "Concussion, just fucking great, were being attacked by Godzilla and I have to worry about you falling into a coma."_

_"What's going on?!" He asks again, this time with more force, he can feel a panic attack looming. The man drops the shirt and cradles his face with his hands._

_"Newt babe; love, listen to me, we don't have time for you to have an episode. We have to go before-"_

_A roar drowns out whatever the man cradling his face had been about to say. The ground is shaking and it feels like an earthquake. There's more screaming and the man is grabbing his hand and their running again._

_The last thing he sees is red so much red, and he's screaming, there's pain in his chest and he can't breathe and he just wants it to stop and-_

**_The world shifts_**

_He's in a hospital and they're telling him about the attack._

_That no one else from the school seems to have survived._

_He's not sure why but he misses the man with the green Mohawk so much that it hurts even if he can't seem to remember his name._

_He's having another attack and their prescribing him something to take on top of the meds he already has to take._

_He's crying and wants it to Stop-_

**_The world shifts_**

_He's in so much pain and there are strange creatures everywhere and maybe Hermann was right and now he's going to die but any chance to do what he's doing now is worth the risk, but it hurts so fucking much and he's scared in a way he never thought he would be; because it's not just one mind he's drifting with it's an entire Hive._

_Then he's on the ground and Hermann is holding him calling his name and sounding so fucking frightened that it hurts._

_Everything hurts, his head feels like it's going to explode._

_And maybe he shouldn't have drifted with an alien but it was worth it because he knows now that they can be defeated and he has to tell Hermann who's angry but he can't bring himself to actually care about that at the moment._

_He really wishes the buzzing in his head would STOP-_

**_The world shifts_**

_He's arguing with Hannibal Chau (the name makes him/Newt want to laugh but the look on the man's face is freaking him out), and holy shit is that a live body louse, no have to keep focused._

_The man shoves a knife up his nose and really what level of crazy is he on? Then he's grabbing his face and cursing and throwing him out and telling him that the Kaiju are coming for him._

_Fuck._

_He's running and fuck if he isn't terrified and regretting drifting now, and the underground isn't safe anymore because Hannibal Crazy was right; Otachi really is after him and then the ceiling breaks and he's frozen in fear and awe and holy shit is that it's tongue?!_

_He has to force down a panic attack; he forgot to take his meds that morning because he was fighting with Hermann throughout the night (it was a nice argument though). He has no time to have an attack he has to go get that brain from Chau._

**_The World Shifts_**

_He's grabbing the walkie-talkie, and he knows that sound; he doesn't have six doctorates for nothing._

_"Get out of there!" He manages to shout just before the baby Kaiju bursts forth and targets him. He and Chau are running and fuck why can't it fucking die already?_

_It eats Hannibal and he doesn't really feel that bad about that; the man was a big ol' box of Crazy O's._

_He's shouting orders and the next thing he knows Hermann is there and saying that they are going to drift together because that's what the pilots do, they share the neural load._

_He's still scared but if Hermann is willing to do this for him then maybe just maybe they can do this._

_And for the first time in a long time he feels that small cold grip on his heart finally let go._

* * *

Hermann gasps awake, dizzy and unsure of where he is. It takes him a moment to tell himself that those weren't his memories; he's in his room in the shatterdome, alive.

At the same time he's in shock because he wonders why Newton hasn't told anyone about the fact that he was there when the first attack happened, or the truth about the tattoos he has etched into his skin.

He knows they're going to have to talk about it eventually. The feelings of nausea and panic that weren't his own crawled around in the back of his head.

"And what better time than now when I can feel Newton across the hall getting sick." He mutters sarcastically to himself.

* * *

It has been two days since they closed the breach. Two long days filled with celebration and mourning.

For those two days Newton Geiszler spent them locked away in his room feeling like his head was going to explode at any moment. His stomach wouldn't hold food and he couldn't get the dull buzz in the back of his mind to go away, every time he tried he was pulled under into memories he had tried hard to lock away before to focus on his work.

In fact he was currently throwing up what little lunch he had tried to eat before having a particularly bad flashback/nightmare.

He's so out of it he doesn't hear the knock at his door; or said door opening.

"Newton?" Hermann calls from the other room. Upon hearing the retching from the bathroom he makes his way over to the closed door; the clicking of his cane following in his wake. "Newton?" He tries again.

When he receives no response he pushes open the door; revealing the sight of his friend kneeling with his head practically in the toilet. He walks over and very carefully kneeling down beside him and begins to rub his back.

"Hermann?" Newton mutters when he finally notices the hand rubbing soothing circles on his back, and felt the buzzing in his mind quiet down.

"Yes Newton?"

"I'm sorry." He groans unclear of why. Hermann knows what he was referring to; what they had shared in the drift. The nightmares that Hermann had been having weren't his; they left him gasping and able to take those few steps across the hall to Newts room.

"Why are you sorry?" He asks in a tone that's both amused and exasperated. Newt shifts around to sit with his back to the wall.

"I'm sorry you had to do that for me (and why lie, it was the truth, it was _for _him), I'm sorry your stuck with me in your head, I'm just… sorry for everything." He says curling up on himself slightly.

There's a moment of silence for a moment (Hermann wonders if Newton has taken his pills today) before Hermann reaches over and smacks the back of his head.

"OW, what the hell hermy?!" Newt cries clutching his head.

"You idiot." Hermann sighs, not bothering to correct the nickname. "I chose to do it, and having you in my head isn't all that different than being in the same room with you for ten years, you get used to it." He says shifting so he too sat against the wall. Newt takes the opportunity to lean against him; resting his head on Hermann shoulder.

"I keep seeing your memories when I sleep." Hermann admits and feels Newt tense against him and knows he's going into touchy territory. He is nothing if not stuborn. "You let everyone think your tattoos are because you love Kaiju, why don't you ever tell them the truth?"

"That what? I got them because of some guy whose name I can't ever remember no matter how hard I try? Yeah they would totally believe that." Newt's laugh was hollow. "Why did you do it?" He asks changing the subject quickly.

"You mean other than to save the world?" He asks sarcastically and feels Newton flinch. "You know why Newton, all you have to do is find the memory." He sighs reaching up to slide his fingers through Newton's hair.

"You thought I was dead the first time." He says quietly. "And that scared you more than the Kaiju that were supposed to be popping up from the ocean, why?"

"When one is trapped with their tormentor long enough they tend to become quite…_ fond_ of them."

"... love you too dude."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Sorry for anything i messed up on.**  
**but yeah...**  
**I might make a sequel with Hermann's memories (because i'm not unaware of Vanessa).**

**Headcanon?:**

**He gets one every time a Kaiju is taken down, as a reminder that humanity is still fighting. (He's still a huge groupie though)**

**Newt gets his first tattoo after the man with the mohawks funeral, he doesn't really know why because he can't really remember who the man was but he knows he was important.**

**(the man and Newt were engaged at one point but due to head trama and his concussion Newton can't remember anything about the man.)**


End file.
